There is just SO MUCH about this year, that I don't even know where to begin.
My parenting journey has been a bit of a fuzz. In some ways I feel more grounded than ever. In other ways I still have this story of the perfect little home, children skipping merrily about, always kind and polite, butterflies landing on their shoulders to delighted squeals, Mummy and Daddy jauntily guiding them through predictable and (gasp!) predictably shocking life problems before sitting down to a hearty dinner with well-timed age-appropriate jokes that elicit conspiratorial chuckles and hoots of laughter. And the reality is so far from that in many ways - like when I am in the bathroom and hear screams and squeals followed by wails. Long, loud wails because one sibling did something awful and the other sibling did something awfuller and now they are in a cycle of retaliation and my head wants to explode. Sometimes.
Mona Delahooke's book came out and I both LOVE it and was utterly unsurprised by it. The piece that stuck with me was about creating cozy time with children. I link this to something Tina Payne Bryson said about children's brains making strong associations. I want them to think of our home as cozy. Safe and cozy. And yes, I have a six year old, real life, walking example of how strong associations can form. Correct, just because you had that chocolate at this time yesterday, does not mean you get it at this time today. Nor tomorrow. It was a one time thing. A special occasion. No, not the next day either. It's not healthy. I already explained why. Please stop arguing!
I have been reading How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. Did you know he also had colon cancer? So far so good for him. I wish this book was required reading for all high schoolers. It has opened my eyes so much to my own racism and I also have even more clarity about the ways we treat children. What adults will do to maintain power!
I am noticing that the more I practice my respectful parenting, the easier overall it becomes (there are still many moments when I am absolutely NOT respectful) and the clearer it gets that this is exactly what I want to be doing. In what circumstance is respect NOT called for?
What do I want to let go of? So much. It would be sweet if I could just let go of the cancer. But it's like a piece of sticky tape that will not unstick no matter how hard I shake my hand.
I am largely letting go of the idea that there is no such thing as the perfect parent and that it's not all that useful to have a perfect parent. Was it two years ago, or three, that I read that? It's taken this long to finally fully land. And still, I am suspicious.
I'd love to adopt about eight more dogs and a whole bunch o' kids. But that's unlikely.
When the kids start school in January, I will adopt a whole new free time schedule, where I write a lot, run a lot, lift weights a lot, eat good food a lot, fast a lot, and basically try to live as well as I can.
Oye. What a year!
There is just SO MUCH about this year, that I don't even know where to begin.
My parenting journey has been a bit of a fuzz. In some ways I feel more grounded than ever. In other ways I still have this story of the perfect little home, children skipping merrily about, always kind and polite, butterflies landing on their shoulders to delighted squeals, Mummy and Daddy jauntily guiding them through predictable and (gasp!) predictably shocking life problems before sitting down to a hearty dinner with well-timed age-appropriate jokes that elicit conspiratorial chuckles and hoots of laughter. And the reality is so far from that in many ways - like when I am in the bathroom and hear screams and squeals followed by wails. Long, loud wails because one sibling did something awful and the other sibling did something awfuller and now they are in a cycle of retaliation and my head wants to explode. Sometimes.
Mona Delahooke's book came out and I both LOVE it and was utterly unsurprised by it. The piece that stuck with me was about creating cozy time with children. I link this to something Tina Payne Bryson said about children's brains making strong associations. I want them to think of our home as cozy. Safe and cozy. And yes, I have a six year old, real life, walking example of how strong associations can form. Correct, just because you had that chocolate at this time yesterday, does not mean you get it at this time today. Nor tomorrow. It was a one time thing. A special occasion. No, not the next day either. It's not healthy. I already explained why. Please stop arguing!
I have been reading How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. Did you know he also had colon cancer? So far so good for him. I wish this book was required reading for all high schoolers. It has opened my eyes so much to my own racism and I also have even more clarity about the ways we treat children. What adults will do to maintain power!
I am noticing that the more I practice my respectful parenting, the easier overall it becomes (there are still many moments when I am absolutely NOT respectful) and the clearer it gets that this is exactly what I want to be doing. In what circumstance is respect NOT called for?
What do I want to let go of? So much. It would be sweet if I could just let go of the cancer. But it's like a piece of sticky tape that will not unstick no matter how hard I shake my hand.
I am largely letting go of the idea that there is no such thing as the perfect parent and that it's not all that useful to have a perfect parent. Was it two years ago, or three, that I read that? It's taken this long to finally fully land. And still, I am suspicious.
I'd love to adopt about eight more dogs and a whole bunch o' kids. But that's unlikely.
When the kids start school in January, I will adopt a whole new free time schedule, where I write a lot, run a lot, lift weights a lot, eat good food a lot, fast a lot, and basically try to live as well as I can.
I want to keep learning, living and sharing NVC.